Tuesday, August 16, 2005

A proposal.

Karthik,

I write this letter not because I wish to hide myself under a cloak of obscurity, nor do I aim to charm under the guise of anonymity. I am who I am and much as I yearn for your acceptance I fear I cannot change myself for you. I am skipping ahead here, let me tell you the purpose of this letter. I write this letter to tell you that I love you. There is nothing extraordinary or admirable about my love. I love you for selfish reasons. I love you for the silliest reasons. I fear they would make little sense to you. But, I am not afraid of rejection. I also do not promise to lead a life pining for you, should you refuse.

I am neither sentimental nor emotional. I detest anything pink and I think romance is for the mentally weak. Or so I used to think until I met you. Now, I seem to yearn for mere moments spent in your company. I dislike this yearning. I close my eyes at night and you appear in my dreams. I wish to not dream so. I also would like to give the giggly girl you were flirting with yesterday, a black eye. I wish also to make myself disappear, should you hold her hand tomorrow. I should also mention now that I will be a jealous wife, reasonably jealous - after all isn't that part of what defines passion?

I confuse myself with my feelings for you. I do not think you are particularly attractive. I just like the way your hair falls over your left eye. I do not think you are tall enough or muscular enough - just that I spend five minutes every day imagining my head leaning on your shoulders. I think you have a pretty irregular face, not as chiseled a chin as I would like, nor as sharp a nose. Yet, I cannot bear to glance away when your eye steals my sight. I do not necessarily understand these feelings. I do not believe that I would have to. After all, love is not something to be understood or defined. Love is what an old married couple feel when they take their slow evening walk to the temple, not hand in hand, not even talking to each other - it is what each silent moment is filled with, between them, all around them. Or so I imagine. I could be wrong. All I ask of you is this - if I am wrong, will you spend your life with me, telling me what is right?

I do believe I love you. If this is not love, will you be by my side and teach me to love?

Yours
Anuradha

43 comments:

Zeppelin said...

RS,

reminds me so much about myself... especially if it was the other way round... :)

good one..

phil

Jinguchakka said...

Wow! First time I'm reading a love letter!

Anonymous said...

Chancey Illa (Alaipayuthey Style)..A very impressive letter (Odhai kedaikama iruntha sari). It could've been so pertinent if the names were changed to Ramya & Kamal ! A good one though. Kalakki podu ..

-Vasu

RS said...

phil, thanks :)

jinguchakka, ...and this is the first time I wrote one, although not as myself :)

vasu, hmm...I don't think this girl is like me - she is stronger, less sensitive, more possessive, certainly less romantic and more...for lack of a better word, detached than me :)

TJ said...

Nice one.
But am i the only one to feel a thread of negativity all thorugh the letter??

Havent read such a long proposal letter. It was just a oneliner ;)

RS said...

TJ, thanks :), you are right, it has a kinda losing tone to it...just wrote it to amuse myself - I imagined a girl very different from me when I wrote this.

...pink (rose) is my favourite color :)

Kowshic said...

RS to Vasu : "hmm...I don't think this girl is like me - she is stronger, less sensitive, more possessive,...."

Less sensitive and more possesive? How can that be?

RS said...

DNA: very easily :) The two need not necessarily overlap (atleast for girls) and we are not necessarily all that sane!

Kowshic said...

Looking at the time stamps, I guess both of us are bored at the office! I sure am.

Zeppelin said...

rs,

The two need not necessarily overlap (atleast for girls) and we are not necessarily all that sane!

interesting to note the above comment... ;)..

pasangalaa....ponunga kitta konjum extra-caution thevai... hehe

cheers!

BUS said...

i think this lacks some passion to it...I will have to say that this is a 2 practical to be a love letter...

what wld be Karthik's reaction...i am curious!!!

RS said...

dna: was definitely bored - was waiting for 5 PM to escape :)

phil: :)

bus: vaa pa, once in a blue moon vandu comment panni ipadi thupariye - idu nyayama? :)

RT said...

Alaipauthey has too much effect...karthik, shakthi?

Agnibarathi said...

I still prefer Sethu Chiyan style - Enakku OK unakku OKvaa? ;)

BUS said...

NOKIC!!!

happy now!!!

The Doodler said...

RS,
reading the letter and your comments, I wonder if you modeled it on someone you know...:) But I liked the proposal style!

RS said...

rt: Somehow love and alaipayuthey are closely intertwined :)

agnibarathi: :)))

bus: thrilled! NOKIC for others: Nice One Keep It Coming (that's what you say in a comment when you don't have anything else to say!) :)

subha: nope, noone I know...someone you have in mind? Just thought of a different kind of girl writing this love letter - a very no-nonsense, practical yet passionate (in a not so traditional sense) girl :)

IBH said...

true!!! Agnibharathi's comment :)

namakku elam straight forward...vettu onnu thundu rendu :)

nicely written...but i guess there is a small piece of me in shakthi portrayed by u! am not sentimental and neither do i like pink! :)ironically i fell in love to get married :))

Anonymous said...

Letter nalla iruku aana I can't put a face to it.

I feel that she is holding back on what she has to say by trying to be strong.This girl is strong and she should know that.

-vv

Shiva said...

rs -
unfortunately this love letter isnt that impressive.. it lacks the passion.. and is slightly businesslike.

but again, maybe this is a practical love letter & not those cinematic ones that we frequently hear & dream about.

RS said...

ibh: :)...love springs on you when you least expect it, I guess :)

vv: hmm...interesting. You know people you think are very strong turn out to be just hiding their insecurities very well?

I tried to write another post - sort of a diary entry by Shakti so that we are privy to her real thoughts but it came out like a sappy page of a Mills and Boon novel :(


shiva: tried something different :)

expertdabbler said...

ha

reminds me of a mail i wrote sometime back:)

naan ipdi illai, naan apdi illai nu ellam varudhu.
(neither sentimental, nor emotional, detest pink, etc)
:)

the last para and the teach me love lines were was just about perfect. that alone would have made it crisper.

sorry for being so unromantic and clinical:D

RS said...

P~K: absolutely contradictory comments to this post, quite interesting to read what people think after reading this letter :)

fieryblaster said...

what can one comment abt what shakti thinks abt her love for karthik?

one thing is sure. a great letter by a brave hearted, self confident, bharthi kanda pudumai girl.

superb post.

Senthil said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Senthil said...

Hmmm... innnteresssting... but rather dramatic, eh? I mean, if I'd received a letter like this (and as you may have guessed, this does NOT happen often), I'd be bloody scared. :)

Anonymous said...

- could have been more acerbic...as in, the intent to propose in a distant,dignified way is evident but still, she's practically begging him in places...

- This reminded me of the definitive piece on this "I love you and I hate it" kinda feeling.

"You know that I hate you, Roark. I hate you for what you are, for wanting you, for having to want you. I'm going to fight you-and I'm going to destroy you-and I tell you this as calmly as I told you that I'm a begging animal. I'm going to pray that you can't be destroyed-I tell you this, too-even though I believe in nothing and have nothing to pray to. But I will fight to block every step you take. I will fight to tear every chance you want away from you. I will hurt you through the only thing that can hurt you-through your work. I will fight to starve you, to strangle you on the things you won't be able to reach. I have done it to you to today-and that is why I shall sleep with you tonight." Part 2, Chapter 7, pg. 272-3 'The fountainhead' - Ayn Rand

Much more dramatic and militant, I admit, but was reminded of it. nevertheless...

- not L

RS said...

fieryblaster: thanks!

senthil: ha haaa...actually coming to think of it, if the roles were reversed and I were to get a letter like this - I would be flattered and scared at the same time too :)

Not L :) - Hmm...I think a confused mind cannot write in a uniform manner - she is distant, dignified, agreed but also kinda hopelessly constrained by her feelings...

...Definitive piece it is, been meaning to read it one more time :)

P B said...

Wow..enna aacharyam. The love letters I recieved (around 27), many of them were exactly like this only :=). Ramya, very realistic writting.

RS said...

PB - like I told you earlier, "nambitten sir" :)

rajesh said...

Found it a ltl pathetic...
avlo despo..aa vaa irpaa oru ponnu??
but then..pasangalku weak point aachae..
Within the first 3 or 4 lines itself..payan surrender aayirpaan..the rst ofthe letter was unnecessary :p
-Raapi

RS said...

raapi - pathetic? seriya padichaya lettera? it's written by someone who is very much in love but at the same time is a little different - strong...

ammani said...

Very well-written. I look forward to more.

RS said...

Thanks Ammani, thats quite a compliment coming from you :)

Senthil said...

Ramya,
I write this letter not because I wish to hide myself under a cloak of anonymity, BUT BECAUSE I AM WAITING FOR THE NEXT POST!
Post. Please.

-Senthil

ada-paavi!!!! said...

nice letter, i agree with PK, the last para would do,middle one bout going green makes good reading but doesnt fit into the letter, as TJ says, the author already seems to know tat she is going to be rejected, but overall i think its a different apporach from the usual mushy-mushy ones. enjoyed reading it.

Jake said...

sweet. man that is a nice letter. and somehow these lines come to mind

thanni thoti thedi vanda kannu kutti naan ...

and as i apparent from that, i dont even watch that many tamil movies :-P

RS said...

Senthil - you will see a new post pretty soon, I think :)

vatsan & jake - thanks!

Senthil said...

In that case, you have been tagged. Here.

RS said...

Senthil - tag answered ...ah! and that makes it a nice whole number - 40 comments :)

Y. Kamesh Rao said...

simply amazing....i am speechless....now thats what we call a frank and true proposal

RS said...

To kames rao - thanks.

To bhavy - Thanks for dropping by. Why do you need my email id?

Anonymous said...

This is so much like what I'm going thru' right now. But wish I had the guts to actually do sumthing like this.